Panties and Boxers.

I’ve always been confused about the date and time because of my sleeping mood swings (which will always be never normal), when I woke up today from a 20-hour sleep just 3 hours ago, I checked my phone and had so much missed calls, and ‘where-are-you’ texts. Yes, I am guilty of not picking up calls when I can, and not replying to sms when I could have exerted effort, but today’s different. I didn’t mean to not pick up. I was asleep and that’s probably the longest time ever. But now that I think about it, I’m not even sure if I would pick up if I were awake.

The reason why I’m writing this is because I know I owe my closest friends an apology. Yesterday was my HS Reunion lunch date and Franz was really expecting me. She was trying to reach me days before the event. Francel, if she went, would be appalled because she wouldn’t have gone there if she knew that I wasn’t coming. Jinky would be present and she would have loved to see me. And Jaya, well, she’s off to Qatar soon. I actually thought she left already, and the last time she wrote me a message in facebook (before I got it deactivated) she said: ‘nagtatampo na ako sayo.’ These people are a handful of my very few proven and tested friends. They won’t kill me, but they’ll probably hate me and will never try calling again. Let’s hope not.

(From left to right: Rijen, Dale, Rash and Franz)

(From left to right photo 1: Francel, Andy, Jinky, Martin. photo 2: Martin, Jaya, Kinson, Anonymous)

I know there’s so much going on with our post-college lives, (i didn’t mean that to sound as if we’re older than our twenties) and that we’d like to see and hear more of each other. We will. I’m currently battling over so many changes right now, but when I bounce back, I hope you’re still there to laugh with me.

I’m always such a loser when it comes to keeping in touch, but even when I couldn’t be reached by phone or anything, I’m here.

Finally watched Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank! And seriously, nabitin ako. I don’t really like writing film reviews. I would rather blab about how it liked it and how it made me feel. And that’s completely normal, right? After all, those who watch movies are not limited to just writers, the smarty-asses and etc. The truth is some are merely just film-lovers, like me. Although I did make an indie last year and some short documentaries, it’s good torture to watch good ones like this because they’re inspiring. My frustration about Sunogbaga not making it big was suddenly alive again, after a year of trying to forget. But melodrama aside, the film my crew and I created wasn’t really a flop, it just wasn’t what we expected it to be. And (insert cliche here) the experience was worth it. (yes, you can roll your eyes)

Anyway! Back to Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank.

Some may say the movie was corny and not funny at all. And that the title didn’t make sense. I say, that’s not completely true. It was very interesting. Something very different from all the mainstream films, and the indie ones too. Like you know, a breathe of fresh air. I am just so in love with Eugene Domingo right now having recently read about her in Cosmo (and this too)that I even downloaded Kimmy Dora to watch it for the second time. 

While it is true that Filipino movies aren’t exactly the best, I think we should give movies like this a chance. They’re realistic, creative and with less superficial drama.

I’m currently downloading Ded Na Si Lolo having remembered my indie talk with Ed Limosnero that happened around 2 years ago. John Carter and The Aviator will just have to wait!

I wish you can be unforgiving as I am, just this once. And I wish you can feel more disgust and hate — than pain. One can only take so much and everybody knows you’ve had more than enough. It’s actually nice that ‘choices’ were never an issue in everything that you’ve been going through. No matter what the odds, he chose to love you… and we actually saw that happening (although) inconsistently. I just wish that everything weren’t just about choices, you know. I wish he had more will-power to stand up for the choices that he made so he can stop hurting you already, so you can stop hurting yourself too. Right now, I’m just so thankful for the difficult people in my life (and yours) for they have shown me exactly who I don’t want to be.